iLIKETRAiNS - Spencer Perceval

iLIKETRAiNS have a new single, called “Spencer Perceval”. For anybody who didn’t know, it’s about Spencer Perceval (obviously), the first and only British Prime Minister to be assassinated.

Of course, I already knew this. I did History at GCSE and at A-Level. Although we never did British history at A-Level, we had these two evil twins in our group. They used to parp up with the answer to every single question, and then gave an elaborate explanation for their one word answer, when no explanation was needed. You know the type of crap that them "Eggheads" come out with on that "Eggheads" programme? Tossers.

Aye, so those twins, who were a cross between the twins off "The Shining" and a pair of rotten cadavers, had shouted out once that the only British Prime Minister to be assassinated was Perceval. I’ve always remembered that, and now you lot will as well.

Quizmasters in pubs all over the country will be devastated if this song catches on. I’m not kidding, the question of “Name the only British Prime Minister to be assassinated”, has popped up in practically every pub quiz I’ve went to. Along with “What is the capital of Peru?” and “What measurement is used to measure horses?”

So I’ve gave this song a listen, a few times. It clocks in at a mammoth 9 minutes and 18 seconds. So it’s a fair bit time I’ve wasted. The song gives the point of view of the assassin, John Bellingham. Apparently the B-side, “I Am Murdered”, gives the point of view of Perceval.

Not since Iron Maiden’s “The Rime Of The Ancient Mariner” (clocking in at 14 minutes plus), have I given a song of such length a chance. I loved that song as well, not sure if I would now, it’s easily been 15 years since I’ve heard it. In those days I used to try and have a mullet, headbang at school discos with glitter gel on my hair, and wonder when I would finally get pubes like my older brother.

Back to the single. Leeds based, iLIKETRAiNS, have been referred to as “library rock” by some. This is because all of their songs are about history, dead people, past events etc. As much as I like the term “library rock”, I prefer the term “bollocks”.

It’s as dark as an adult raven’s wing this song, like. It does eventually build up its haunting guitar and gloomy vocals to a fierce crescendo and then dies down again. The drums make me imagine Bellingham being led to the gallows, with a black hood on his head.

I keep on thinking of the Manic Street Preachers when I listen to it. You know the same sense of foreboding you get from “The Intense Humming Of Evil” from “The Holy Bible” album? It’s nowhere near as good as that, but it’s the same sort of feeling. Claustrophobic and morose.

I don’t like it. But I’m very sure that plenty of people will. My opinion doesn’t count for much like, but when people write songs of this length about such topics, it all seems a little self indulgent to me.

Maybe it’s not quite as bad as some of the Manic’s post-Richey attempts at clever songs with a historical context, but it isn’t floating my boat either way. If I want to be educated/patronised, I'll watch "Eggheads"

The single came out on the 26th of March through Beggars Banquet.


Here's a clip from Eggheads, starring Phil "The Power" Taylor, watch out for how much of a cunt CJ is.......